Laura Hunter Therapies

Is it Bad Not to Tell Your Therapist Everything?

Embarking on the journey of therapy can feel like navigating an unknown territory filled with hope, apprehension, and the silent wish to find solace. At the heart of this journey is the relationship you build with your therapist—a connection based on trust, understanding, and the gradual unfolding of your inner world. One question that might emerge as you walk this path is, “Is it bad not to tell my therapist everything?” Let’s delve into this question with compassion, understanding, and the reassurance that your therapy experience is as unique as you are.


Entering the therapeutic space brings with it a vulnerability that is both brave and daunting. The expectation to open up completely can feel overwhelming, and it’s natural to wonder if withholding certain thoughts or feelings from your therapist is counterproductive or, worse, wrong. The truth is, therapy is a personalised journey, and how you navigate your sharing is a significant part of this process. Let’s explore why it’s okay to take your time with sharing, and how emotional honesty plays a crucial role in your healing.

Building Trust Takes Time

Just like any meaningful relationship in life, the bond between you and your therapist will grow stronger with time. Initially, it’s common to hold back certain thoughts or experiences until you feel safe and comfortable. This gradual process of opening up is not just normal but expected. Your therapist understands this dynamic and knows that trust must be earned, not demanded. As you get to know your therapist and experience their consistent support and understanding, you’ll naturally find yourself more inclined to share the deeper, more vulnerable parts of your story.

The Unhelpfulness of Labelling Yourself as “Bad”

The notion of being “bad” for not sharing everything with your therapist is a reflection of the harsh judgements we often cast upon ourselves. This self-criticism can stem from our fears and insecurities and is usually far from the truth. Remember, therapy is a space free from judgement, including self-judgment. Instead of labelling yourself, focus on acknowledging your bravery for engaging in therapy and recognise that your pace in sharing is valid and respected.

The Importance of Emotional Honesty

While it’s important to share at your own pace, embracing emotional honesty can significantly enhance your therapy experience. Emotional honesty means allowing yourself to be true about your feelings, thoughts, and experiences, even when it’s challenging. This doesn’t mean you have to share everything all at once, but rather, being open to exploring the parts of yourself that you typically keep hidden. Taking this leap of faith and trusting your therapist with these aspects of your life can be transformative, paving the way for deep healing and personal growth.

The Therapeutic Process and You

The essence of therapy lies in its ability to provide a reflective mirror to your inner world, helping you understand and navigate your thoughts and emotions more effectively. Your therapist is there to guide you through this process, offering support, insights, and strategies to cope with life’s challenges. However, the depth and effectiveness of this journey are significantly influenced by your willingness to be open and vulnerable. Remember, your therapist is your ally, and their primary goal is to support your well-being.


Asking if it’s bad not to tell your therapist everything is a sign of your deep engagement with the therapeutic process and your desire to make the most out of it. It’s important to remember that therapy is a personal journey, and how you choose to share your experiences is a part of your unique path to healing. Trust takes time to build, and emotional honesty is a goal to strive for at your own pace. If you’re ready to take a step further in your therapy journey or curious about starting one, I invite you to book a discovery call with me. Together, we can explore the possibilities of therapy tailored to your needs, creating a space where you feel safe, understood, and empowered to share your story.

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